hate when I need to keep a secret..it's torturing me inside!!

right now.. I have a big secret that I should keep just to myself.. Nobody should know about it..
It would be suicidal if anyone knew about it..even my bestest buddy..hush hush I say to myself..but it's torturing me inside..I hate when I need to keep a secret especially from my parents!!

they are everything to me and I hope that I could tell them this secret without get scolded..
but what I've done is absolutely wrong and un-rational..and definitely not me!!
and there is no chances of not getting scolded from my parents!! This past few days, i'm sort of turn into a rebellious side of myself..it's look like my alter ego personality is taking over my life.. I don't want that..!!!!

Ya Allah!! Tolong hambamu ini...kenapa izan jadi macam ni? teruk la kalau terus macam ni!!!